I’ll turn to a friend…
Someone that understands…
Sticks to the master plan…
But everybody’s gone…
And I’ve been here for too long…
To face this on my own… Well, I guess this is growing up”
Dammit – Blink 182
As I lay in bed quietly last night after finishing ‘The Alchemist’… I thought to myself… has it already been 17 flippin’ years? Seriously…dude…17 YEARS?! come to think of it… that’s a significant part of my life right there…Gone! I never realized it till it was coming and now its on my head. All my life I always WANTED to be like this… keenly awaiting the time when I would be nothing but a teenage freelancer with a few general responsibilities like friends, food, studies and shenanigans. But back then it all seemed so far away and distant… and I never looked behind, always looking forward… headed towards life like an average kid as it came across me, ever so vibrantly with all its confusing, and sometimes amusing, crossroads…
It came to me like a flash flood… from as long ago as I could possibly remember…
My first by-myself poop… my first steps(well, I don’t really remember THAT but still :D) my first pair of underwear… my first shit-my-pants… my first day of school… my first exam… my first time getting bullied… my first bike… my first crush… my first heartbreak… my first PC… my first dive from the top diving board at the pool…(no really, that was a big deal man) my first time moving out-of-town… (and the moving never stopped) my first ‘bigger’ bike… my first fight… my first time in a plane… my first favorite song… my first chickenpox… my first cuss word… my first debate victory… my first death-in-the-family… my first F in class… my first by-myself accident… my first cellphone… my first time in junior high… my first “bin-laden” tease… my first R-rated movie… my first snowfall… my first ‘teen’ year… my first boat ride… my first sash… my first time fell-off-a-horse… my first zit… my first time driving a car… my first national exam… my first major fuck-up…(yep, grounded) my first concert… my first signs of facial hair…(ohh boy..) my first time out of the country…(the YES experience) my first love-at-first-sight…(Chees
And here I was, tranced… staring at the wall… darkness… silence… and me…
And then it was the brain and the heart in that melancholy air…
“what the fuck just happened?”
“you just had a major flashback, dude”
“who the hell are you?”
“Im your motherfuckin conscience…living downstairs”
“Holy shit!”
“And yeah It HAS been that long fuckhead…where were you?”
At that moment it dawned on me, I had unknowingly spent the past one and a half dozen years of my life awaiting its own arrival… what the hell?!
“But wait…I didn’t accomplish SHIT? What happened to all the time? And all the stuff that I THINK I did??”
“Nothing. It was there and You did it…”
“Did what?”
“Spent your time…lived your life…first 17 years of it…and dude, you didn’t die man”
“are you fuckin kiddin me?”
“You wish I was, huh? Look… snap out of it. Look back at what you’ve done… and then look around you…and then look at yourself… do you see a worthless piece-a-shit amidst other ignoranus douches? Or somebody who is actually sane enough to realize and think about this shit at age 17?”
“Hmm…man, God has been very kind…I feel like an asshole…”
“You see, you’re NOT screwed…(yet)… infact, generally one would think this is just the beginning, right? Sweet 17?”
“I guess…”
“That’s what you’ve been doing man… You set a goal but once you got there you realized it shouldn’t have been the goal in the first place…right?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, it isn’t really your fault dude… you were too little to decide… and perhaps according to your age you might’ve even done the right thing… but from where you are now, you should begin to see what life really is…”
“Its short… it seems like yesterday that I was going to 5th grade and then 8th grade and then… wasn’t it just a while ago that I was playing Call of Duty and then just now I was wanting to stay in the US for another year… and eating biryani…”
“Dude, that really WAS yesterday man… see what I mean?”
“Damnit Fuck… Life is Short!!”
“and its about fuckin time you realized that…its good that you did, the sooner the better…”
“Fuck me…This is deep man…Everything went to crap”
“No shit… But I hope you’re happy… cuz I think you should know… you haven’t really wasted your 17 years either…You’ve done a little bit more than your average peers...”
“Thank God!”
“And this shit shows that you’ve grown up just a lil quicker too… another one of your realizations bud…”
“Im so not gonna waste any of it that’s left…”
“You never know how much is left… heck, you could die in one half of a split-fuckin second…first thing tomorrow morning or a hundred years from now… only God knows”
“I guess I should listen to you sometimes… I really got put in my place…”
“Your not the only organ with feelings you know…”
“Yeah… This is weird… I feel happy AND sad”
“You’re happy cuz you’re loved… you’re sad cuz your spiritual side needs attention”
“You know what, lets switch places… you should move upstairs and do all the thinking…”
“Dude, I cant do algebra and you’re gonna so totally suck at pumping blood…”
“I should listen to you more often then…”
“Yeah… Just remember, in order to be successful… you need God’s will too… so PRAY damnit! He likes it even more if you pray when you’re young… otherwise everybody prays in old age, dude…”
“Yeah, I will… I promise”
“And set another goal… search for your destiny while following the omens… and please think more before doin’ stuff…Nobody can do it for you…”
“I get it. Life… Priorities… Prayer… and some fun too…”
“Fuck Yeah! You’re not gonna be 17 again you know…not like that faggot zach efron in that whack movie.”
“Hell no… But now I know that it also doesn’t mean I forget my progress… otherwise I might get lost once again…”
“Yeah… Cherish life as it passes, try to savour every moment as if it’s a part of you’re path to your destiny… even though you’re only human. Before you know it you’ll be looking back once again and you’ll be the man… all professional… it wont be long before you’ll find someone someday, get engaged… enjoy a little more… get married, raise a family, whilst you chase the years of your life… and then… you’ll be looking back yet again… holding your grandchild and not feelin that swagger or energy anymore… just a lifetime to tell about that’s already past… and then your kids and grandkids will get annoyed by your lectures… That’s life!”
“Whoa…fuck!”
“And that is ofcourse if you get to live that long…”
“Hmm…That’s why we say Inshallah!”
“Indeed, Inshallah!”
“Guess what song makes perfect sense for the moment… Five for Fighting – 100 years”
“Oh yeah! You’re right… well atleast you’re good for something do-brain”
Half the time goes by, suddenly your wise…
Another blink of an eye, 67 is gone…
The sun is getting high, we’re movin’ on…
…Im 99 for a moment, dying for just another moment…
And im just dreaming, counting the ways to where you are…
“There is never a wish better than this, when you only got a 100 years to live. Great Song”
“Yeah… That was some heavy shit, wasn’t it?”
“Hells yeah dude… I feel revived…”
“Aren’t you forgettin’ something?”
“Yeah, Thanks for the support, beyotch”
“Here we go again…just go to sleep asshole…”
“Alright…Good Night, nutsack”
“Good Night, douchebag”
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