iFail

And so it goes...
the idiot realizes he went against the very thing he stood for and remorse drips from him owing to a turnaround in his state of mind. I might as well be left to wither and fade and still it'd be justified. What came to me was...wierd. stupid. And then later on..when some thoughts come up that lead you home, where you shud've been earlier, the feeling of disgruntle-cum-poststupidity is immensely miserable. :(
I'm sorry...my brain lost composure, it was too big of a thing to think about all at once and I didnt let the whole idea sink in maturely. and i dont know why i was like that. Perhaps it had never occured to me that you were testing the strength of my feelings for once, nevertheless, I was partly blind to the reality around me and failed to live up to my own beliefs in love. All it needed was a push. A mere usher. You're the type of person that is hard to find in these times. From the inside out, you're the most caring, soft, considerate and "good" person I have ever known. And what people say? idgaf. Fuck 'em. You're way WAYY more important, period. seriously, wtf was i thinking before...*sigh* You're just so ...nice...
You're better than many in many ways. better than they'll ever be no matter what they believe or dont beleive in. That, in itself, is the key to a happy life ahead. Its hard to find. And there and then, it dawned on me as i sat alone in the crowded engagement ceremony feeling numb. I saw imperfection, hypocrisy everywhere...and then from therein you rose to something more than that, something closer to perfection in terms of being true and pure. The "good" in you will always tend to come out on top because its just that prevalent. complete with strawberries and whipped cream. Not only like it has with me but with the poeple who'll be around us...the one's that matter, all of em :) i can so see it happening...
And my feelings for you, the foundation of 'us' existing.. was not based on this aspect in the first place...so i... yeah, wtf was i sayin....*sigh* fail :\
After some serious considerations, I had a big realization and made a big decision. I Thank you for giving me the time... to think...to use my fuckin head... and not just letting go of me when I had bluntly let you down and hurt your feelings and expectations so stupidly and all too suddenly....

Its not just because I love you for what you are from the inside out...but because i WANT it. i WANT you and i WANT to love you for that pretty and tempting, endearing, lovely and ever-evolving image of yours in here <3
Besides you're not gona turn any less hotter ;) haha sorry just had to ;p

"I've got an angel...she doesnt wear any wings"



Uno Cuatro Tres
<3

10...

"Rain rain Pours away
This day this night, 10 today
Dark as night, this forest outside
sways and rustles, flashing bright
I discern and stare, lots to contemplate
On the floor, by the window in a stirred state
Your words they come through astound and entice
That touch of yours made the scarecrow nice
Its him sailing somewhere deep in your eyes
Lost in thought, for a moment he sighs
This love, this feeling, this attachment, this rain
Abysmal, unlike the distance by terrain
There's light in hope, there's love in store
There's strength in weakness, a future to fight for..."

:)


where i sat thinking that night...

A Habit

Yeah...its a habit
I make my way out of the shower, it starts nagging me, the urge :p
*queitly walks across to the bed where the phone is on the pillow*
*picks it up, drops a txt*
...message sent
*happy contented smile*
:P
haha! its just something special ya know...
I dont know if you perceive it that way or not but um..you're just that important...yeah *snickers* :D
and the air is chilly, since drops of water still linger on me, following the same downward trickle...
but that's ok, the person i txt is hot enough... ;p
I dont have the Brad Pitt, David Beckham or Bradley Cooper-ish look in a towel...
no *chuckles* not even the slightest resemblance :D but hey.. atleast im.. fuckin exclusive and shit ya know..."reserved" ;) and not public :P
and i take the time, no..i look forward to the time, when i get to do this lil habit of a habit :p
not that insignificant...or maybe it is...
Either way, the towel is always where its supposed to be and so are the thoughts...
*winks*
;)

Lost...

I feel so lost without you
the minutes, like hours, without you
my eyes blink late without you
these shorts feel cold without you
the silence feels numb without you
the world turns gray without you
his world doesn't lighten up, it fades
when the scarecrow roams without you