Its nobody's 'fault'.
It's just me being...well, pretty damn ordinary. Which defines my persona through the paradigm of an unbiased unattached perspective. (yes, you're biased too :p)
That's what love does. It happens to everyone. And yes, everyone lives and loves like everyone else and the Earth keeps on spinning. But naturally, as a bf, I feel as though I'm entitled to a couple or so responsibilities. And I take them up, the best I can, and try...atleast try...to be the best I can be. Even if it means failing miserably cuz of predestined or inexorable circumstances.
Just because you fall, are let down, turned off...
doesn't mean you won't be brought back up, turned on...
you think I won't catch you if you fall? cuz of my antics and fuckups?
I mean, I admit that I can't be the dream date, I admit that I say things that are sometimes not met up to. I'm fallible. Very. But that doesn't mean that I wont pretend, that I wont dream, that I wont try...
There ARE times in life when you just don't wanna miss a good chance to shut up.(this is not one of those times) And there are also times when you just don't wanna be caught off-guard by any reason. By any notion put forth by you or any other. But there are times, too, when you just don't wanna think like a realist, strictly practical and measured; but dream like a child. Say without repress, claim without reason, and imagine without restraint. (I mean really, where's the fun without it? just Think :) Life is a bitch enough.) And baby When you shine in my eyes, it's one of these moments...
and at such instances if i lead you to believe what I want you to believe, please do, I'm not saying don't believe me...but...always remember that it was only you whom I ever said anything like that to, whom I ever made such a promise to, and with whom I ever claimed such a thing. And later if those very things fall apart over something else I said...the latter being in a moment of anger/resent/frustration maybe...then please don't forget the former.
Don't be afraid to be let down. I'm terribly human. Prone to mishap. As well as heartbreak. But so are you. In order for two simpletons like us to have each other, forever, we must first indeed recognize the fallibility of ourselves, no?
Revenge, my dear, isn't sweet to me. The conscious breathes but does it really need to choke the other for a moment to really feel better again?
I love you more than songs can ever say.(and they say alot) I care for that heart and those tears more than my own. But only when I do something bad is when I realize I shouldn't have. In the end, one cannot possibly live with too many restraints on thought and expression. You're a staunch believer in that. So am I. But as biased as I am, I may sometimes disregard this for myself. And yes, it just happens. I don't wanna hurt you. And It still happens. I dont wanna be angry but at times it still happens. Obviously, Im not perfect even if i try.
Realizing this, I dont stop trying altogether...
Cuz if I do that, who's gonna be all mushy at the age of grandpa and grandma, hm? Who's gonna lie in the same bed and chat on msn? Who's gonna have same & eden in an aquarium? Who's gonna talk you to sleep? Who's gonna call me stupid and tharki and loser? Who's gonna cook a killer lasagna on my birthday? Who's gonna teach me how to salsa? Who's gonna tell me im boring? Who's gonna visit me in my dreams?
Without you, I dont wanna be. Without you is just outside my brain matter, and i want it to stay there. I want us to last. When times are good, when times are bad. Whatever the magnitude, the foundation of it all is hope of the future. If a such a thing as hope, something abstract, can keep us two together, well I would imagine WE are only as imperfect as it gets. and yes we damn well remember it at all times, or else... :p
I love you. I need you.
And when one of us shows some of the ever-prevalent human tendencies of 'fuckin-up', well... then don't be afraid. <3
To Believe again.
To Say again.
To Smile again.
To Love again. :)
Uno Cuatro Tres <3
