18 Years... Damn!

Dated 29th August, 09
Around Midnight:
If you guys haven’t seen or heard while stalking on facebook everyday, I’m about to turn legal… :D
Im going “Dude… did my 17th year just pass by...?? Damn!”
So here I am staring at the screen... Reminiscing, listening to Blink 182, Thinking... What has happened this past year? What have I seen and realized? Where was it blissful and where did it hurt? Hmm... Let's see...

Firstly, the YES program... MAN! I don't even know where to start off with that... I don't think any elaboration is required there, everybody knows... It’s the reason why this year was extra special and seemed way too short. It’s also why I got to travel so much. What else? Hmm, well I have become more calm, thoughtful and less chutiya, talkative... Didn't turn emo from all the shit I went through, but I guess it isn't as bad as my other deep dark secrets... I've grown to know myself alot better... Don't really know how to put that in words...
What's the expression on my mind the most these days? "Ah, Fuck it"...
What did I gain? Friends, a second family, 'enlightenment', a lil bit of height and weight, insight, a sense of responsibility and I guess a lil bit of maturity too...

What did I lose? My frikkin mind(Sept-Oct ’08 in NM), Alota shit, my fav wristwatch, my laptop(R.I.P my dear friend), and what else.. umm, lost my old self... Which isn't a bad thing, lost my sweetheart, lost my inner nerd, lost my Urdu...(not entirely thank God) lost interest in cheap shit like bollywood and paki fashion...

What did I learn? that's a huge question... To name a few, ignorance is a bliss for some... Indifference is a nasty bitch... You can't just rely on others and not on yourself... Expectations hurt... Being loved is one of the sweetest feelings, just another reason to be thankful for... One should listen to the heart every once in a while... Self-control is the only shield, against every vice, not everyone has... Shit just happens... Observe first, then if you don't have anything good to say then don't say nuthin... Keep your fuckin eyes open... Trust is the most important thing ever... Life comes with no guarantees... Relationships are tested, not when both care about each other, but when one forgets and the other still continues to care... Dont get cocky, you'll just seem like a bigger piece'a shit then you originally are... Some people don't care... others just don't give a fuck... In the end it all comes down to the individual and his cojones... Don’t make someone a priority, for whom you’re only an option… And the list goes on, the lessons that I've learnt practically in the last year... It's a good thing I guess but I really wouldn't wanna repeat learning some of em... Nooo. Hell no! :D Though i know I still tend to slip sometimes... after all, Im only human.

I have developed some peeves too… some new some old… stuff that makes me wanna go “Fuck that shit!”
Here are a few of em… No offence to anyone out there
-Starplus… Indian TV channels in general.
-People who butcher English and think they're cool
-‘Chutiya, tharki mard hazraat’
-The country's current status.. and leader
-‘Molvi hazraat’ who talk shit, Non-progressive punkasses
-Helplessness, suppression
-Indifference
-People who get pissed when I help them with computers
-Snobs
-Anything that revolves around bananas, movie stars and twilight

Music… my lifeline :) the most played songs in my iTunes library this past year… not necessarily my favorites though…
Blink 182 - I Miss You
Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.
Coldplay - Lost Ft. Jay-Z
Coheed & Cambria - Welcome Home
Jason Mraz - Lucky
Eminem - My Name Is
Blink 182 - Feelin' This
Eminem - I’m Back
The Eagles - Hotel California
Plain White T's - 1,2,3,4
Coldplay - Fix You
Dr Dre - Nuthin’ but a “G” Thang
Taylor Swift - Teardrops on My Guitar
Kanye West – Bittersweet Poetry Ft. John Mayer
Daniel Powter - Bad Day

I think the best ‘gastronomical discovery’ I made this year has got to be either “Mexican food” or “Cheesecake”
I just Can’t pick a winner :P

I also want to say that every single person who came into my life this year…as a friend, as family, or just an acquaintance… has made me feel confident that im not a total failure when it comes to being social animal... ofcourse, with the exception of some bitches :) ahem ahem… yeah, they’re everywhere, I know dude. I think that the biggest thing I learned was how to deal with life patiently. Change gears, hold my shit together when it’s tough. But im just a beginner… It has only begun. I still have a lot of growing up to do, throwing up to spew and and fuckers to slew. :P God has a master plan, and I guess I am in his demand. Not just prodding along with my hands in my pockets and imprudently living life with a trial-and-error fashion only… But with an actual plan, aim and strategy... and Hope… :)

Aims:
- SMAO study my ass off… Since all my mom wants from me is marks, “bache kaise kaise number le jate hain, tumhari tarha ahi hote”… It’s the most discussed matter in the house…
- Get through F.Sc and get on with Engineering and Business school at NUST… Since that’s the second thing wanted from me… Pressure is up, unfortunately matric wasn’t good enough.
- Keep my partial Hafiza Quran intact and in good shape… Trying my best there
- Be Proactive and consistent… And work on my social skills
- Observe and Prioritize


This here is a like a log... maybe one day I’ll read this again, God knows I’ll be happier than I am today... See where I was and where I will be... Higher, Ahead and on my way(Inshallah) This is my time, this is it... Being young, now is the time... 18 years...Damn! Life is gonna continue to change from here on(well.. it has ALWAYS been sorta)... Perhaps it could be an even bigger bitch or perhaps not... Only time will tell... This is me talking to myself (in Morgan freeman's voice :P)... Tellin a tale... Describing a chapter of my life as I turn yet another page and keep on going... On and on… until it all ends some day, inevitably...