And so it goes...
the idiot realizes he went against the very thing he stood for and remorse drips from him owing to a turnaround in his state of mind. I might as well be left to wither and fade and still it'd be justified. What came to me was...wierd. stupid. And then later on..when some thoughts come up that lead you home, where you shud've been earlier, the feeling of disgruntle-cum-poststupidity is immensely miserable. :(
I'm sorry...my brain lost composure, it was too big of a thing to think about all at once and I didnt let the whole idea sink in maturely. and i dont know why i was like that. Perhaps it had never occured to me that you were testing the strength of my feelings for once, nevertheless, I was partly blind to the reality around me and failed to live up to my own beliefs in love. All it needed was a push. A mere usher. You're the type of person that is hard to find in these times. From the inside out, you're the most caring, soft, considerate and "good" person I have ever known. And what people say? idgaf. Fuck 'em. You're way WAYY more important, period. seriously, wtf was i thinking before...*sigh* You're just so ...nice...
You're better than many in many ways. better than they'll ever be no matter what they believe or dont beleive in. That, in itself, is the key to a happy life ahead. Its hard to find. And there and then, it dawned on me as i sat alone in the crowded engagement ceremony feeling numb. I saw imperfection, hypocrisy everywhere...and then from therein you rose to something more than that, something closer to perfection in terms of being true and pure. The "good" in you will always tend to come out on top because its just that prevalent. complete with strawberries and whipped cream. Not only like it has with me but with the poeple who'll be around us...the one's that matter, all of em :) i can so see it happening...
And my feelings for you, the foundation of 'us' existing.. was not based on this aspect in the first place...so i... yeah, wtf was i sayin....*sigh* fail :\
After some serious considerations, I had a big realization and made a big decision. I Thank you for giving me the time... to think...to use my fuckin head... and not just letting go of me when I had bluntly let you down and hurt your feelings and expectations so stupidly and all too suddenly....
Its not just because I love you for what you are from the inside out...but because i WANT it. i WANT you and i WANT to love you for that pretty and tempting, endearing, lovely and ever-evolving image of yours in here <3
Besides you're not gona turn any less hotter ;) haha sorry just had to ;p
"I've got an angel...she doesnt wear any wings"
Uno Cuatro Tres
<3
:) :)
ReplyDeleteJust had to.