Dinner 'n' Dessert ;)

"Umm yes, may I speak to Mr. Sam please..?"

As I stood there under the hot misty torrent of water coming down from the shower while the sun shone outside and the steam engulfed and blurred my vision through that lil window, I could only sigh and lose myself in the enchantment of that "rainy night"... <3
It was you...I couldn't help it, couldn't think of anything but your magic...

You dont have to worry about this dessert ever running out *winks* ;)

"What's a Magician without his Magic...nothing"

:)


For My beauty...
Love, Scarecrow ;)

Uno Cuatro Tres <3

"You make me feel Something in my Everything"

Winters are here, like here-here...Bringing new stories and happenings

There's something about the crisp winter air that makes you just...scooch in a lil' more :p

The moon last night, from my front yard...
reminds me of the brilliance of your visage...the radiance of your countenace...
how I long to see it, like some would long for the moonlight... :)


"...you're the brightest light in the sky, for the scarecrow at night"


Its fun to sit infront of the heater...mostly cuz, well its WARM :p
and its one of those places where I think alot...idk, could be a winter thing...or just my lameness :P
But yeah, lastnight as I just sat there...reminiscining...I thought of many things...


...I look pretty homeless, yeah? :P
The heater..Yayy! Check out my ipod pulling off a lil artwork there. Shitty heart, yeah I know.













So a movie played in my head, a movie that has no end...
I recount all those times in the past 3 years, how we got to know each other...
and then later how it all came together for us... :)
quite a story, it is :p

...Yeah. 'Nuff sed XD lmao!

*...Pal Jhapakte, Kho Na Jana...Chu ke Karlun Yakeen...Na Jane Pal Ye Paen Kahan...Jaadu Hai Nasha Hai*

"and im just...being weird" :P

Im keeping this safe... :) best item discovered in my pocket ever. *wink wink* ;)

"And so the Lion Fell..."
I think you know what this is, peaches... ;)

Uno Cuatro Tres <3

Tch Tch Tch...poor me or poor fish?

*after being teased sufficiently with the bhai jan, bhai jan routine, Sam tries to play his cheesiness card* :P
*Eden, noticing its actually turning the tables, retaliates...*

Eden: Acha bus! Ab phir apna wo tharkipana na shuru kr dena!!...GANDE INSAN!!
Sam: ......... *silence*.........*feigns hurt* heartbreak... *sniff sniff* :\
Eden: Awww..acha nahi BHAI JAN aap roen to mat na...
Sam: ....*more silence*...... FURTHER heartbreak :\
Eden: mein BEHN JI hun na apki, itne paak rishte ko kharab na kijiye... *grins* :P
Sam: .......Heart broken and BURNT
Eden: Awwwwwwww acha chalein aap ja ke naha lein na BHAI JAN
Sam: ........heart broken and burnt to ASHES...
Eden: Ab zyada drameybazi na karein na BHAI JAN, warna mama ko shikayat laga dun gi..han
Sam: ........Heart broken, burnt and the ashes thrown in the RIVER... :(
Eden: Haha! awwwwwwwwww :p wow..ab ye na kehna ke the ashes are floating in the river or what not...LAME kaheen ke....
Sam: .....*pause*......the ashes are eaten by a fish!
Eden: WHAAAtt?! HAHAHAH!! *cracks up*
Sam: han na...see how bad it is? :\
Eden: * Oh God :D seriously, a fish?! wth??! HAHAH.....oh what, so now the fish has diarrhoea?
Sam: ........*pause* yeah...the fish has diarrhoea...and now its diarrhoea-ing all over the place... :(
Eden: WTF?! HAHAHA Eerrghhhh :P
Sam: Yeah see what you've done? now the whole sea is polluted...thanks to you...Gawd. :\

I was totally Mindfucked a while back, THIS was my last effort to counter it...but no, you're getting REALLY good at picking on lil things that I sometimes say by accident or deliberately getting the 'negative' out of what I say to you....yeah.. :p seems like now you've picked up the tricks from me and are now a pro at playing em on your own "boring-lecturer-of-a-bf"
;)

Uno Cuatro Tres <3

Bullshit

You know...i think its about time...
I've really been watching and letting go...
You were cool and all...or that's what i thought...i even cared about how you were doing and stuff...a couple of times the thoughts of being friends with you crossed my mind, since I thought you had dealt with this really nicely...I had know everything all along.
but then I got to know the truth...
You dont even like the mention of my 'name'...and yet you "befriend" this young woman as if she's nothing but an open place for your not-so-teenage and oh-so-much-more pure and real "love" that is beyond the comprehension of a mere 'kid' like me...
yeah. condescending as it is...more importantly it was confusing for her to the extent of depression "you know nothing about love"..."you have so much more to learn"
"my love for you is beyond the love you and everyone else thinks of" "my love is different than his...he cant love you the way i do" WHAT does it even mean?

do you know what it feels like...? Do you, asshole?

There's so much I have kept inside for so long...I mean there were moments when the timing couldn't have been more perfect, the timing to speak out, what I had in mind couldn't have been said at a better time...but i never did. Just kept giving you another chance....and another...and another...thinking, well perhaps he's still tryin to shake it off but maybe its hard for him...and that he'll eventually be alright. I know that's where he wants to be...
I always told myself, No...he's cool...he oughta understand...i thought you were better than me....and i dont have to kill any ego or anything like that to admit that i did

But what have you done??

Again, I ask you...Do you know what it feels like...?

You say to her "how can you let yourself be possessed by somebody at such a young age...i dont like how he can do that to you"
So you mean she should be an "open-house" for people like you? Whatever happened to her feelings and her desires in something special and exclusive?
dude, do you know the irony of this? what I have been silently ignoring for so long...? YOU are still, to this day, possessive about her...
admit it
You just dont get it...you dont...
and who ARE you?
You know, YOU getting uncomfortable when she mentions ME, still...ignoring any conversations about me...they clearly show what you feel man. Why cant you just face it?
Was she not clear enough the first time???? :\ I mean does it matter if I tell you your advances aren't a matter of thought or epiphany...but a matter of disappointment? :|
For me they're what they would be to any other bf. But for her its agonizing...
she was NOT kiddin around with you when she said what she wanted...
And She still isnt. But you're just... *sigh*

and when you say "I dont like how he can make you break down and be sad, frustrated so..." Ok, wise guy, do you have any God Damn idea WHAT happens when YOU say a word or two in anger to her? Your simplest egotistically understandable remarks even... can wreck her...do you have any idea how she cries, literally cries with tears down her cheek just cuz this "friend" is angry? You're not even her bf and still you're dear enough to her, you're worth tears to her, but you STILL don't respect that and honour that.... :( its a shame. Do you know what I have to go through to try to console her for YOU...? and You're not even her man. :\ Im not even supposed to be caring you know, but I do....or alteast I DID, until i was told that you dont respect or even give a fuck--no, rather, you dont even ACCEPT my 'existence' at all. Im just an "obstacle"...something that came in between....
Unbelievably pathetic. :\
You know honestly, Im surprised at how fuckedup in denial a person can be to think shit like that...
Its not depth, guy. its worrisome shit.

You have the nerve to talk to her about Marriage?! I mean who the fuck do you think you are....?? Really...just look at yourself... you're violating her trust in you as a 'friend', not respecting the matter-of-fact realities... cheating her friendship for something YOU want and she DOESN'T :|
if that's not the kind of intention her and I have been noticing, then WHAT are you saying....? WHAT is the matter with you? Do you know what it feels like when your gf tells you that THAT's what someone said....? Do you???
If I STILL had respect for you all this time, I think the last remaining blades of it burned away after you said this to her....and i know that was, as well, some time ago....

I dont think you accept reality....you dont accept ME...you dont think 'I' exist....
Denial. Denial and nothing but.
You never truly accepted when she told you "NO"
You never truly accepted when she said she found ME
You never truly accepted ME being there....where YOU wanted to be
and by 'accepted' i mean truly, not just a superficial yeah-yeah

Man, cmon...
I thought you were more sensible...
Why do you have to put this on her plate? Do you think she needs to deal with this? No, she does NOT... :S
It is a matter of great resent for her when she sees someone who can be such a good "friend" of hers, someone she trusts she can keep at such a close distance all of a sudden turns into...something else...
that just makes things rotten.
And then you gotta go around shoving your "oh its not THAT love you think of" crap in her face when clearly your intentions are evident....i dont even know what to say to you man...just... atleast look at how old you are and wtf you're doing... :\
When there's a girl and guy...who are to be friends, and nothing more...then one should just....accept that...
Otherwise its pathetic.
You make her regret keeping you soooo close...If you really DONT want that then get your shit straight.
WAKE the FUCK up already...
It totally seems like you're not gonna even THINK about it, you're just NOT gonna GET IT until you have your ass handed to you gracefully by someone. She doesnt try to do that cuz she has a place for you in her heart. But you keep mistaking it for some OTHER place in her heart. Do you know how stupid this seems, for a person your age and your social standing? Not AS stupid as me having to say all of this stuff just cuz someone is too thickheaded to understand... :\

I thought you were better than this, I thought you were not like the others...

Before her and I, when you two were real close I wasnt like YOU, you asshole :\ i respected boundaries...and would you believe me if i say I, personally, used to encourage her...to go for it, have at it. But No, that just wasn't meant to happen. And it didn't. Despite all that, she didn't think that was it for her. You should've understood there and then cuz I know she was clear enough. She has always been clear enough. They say when a man and woman are together, attraction is inevitable. Well, It was her choice...and she made it...a long time ago. But you are still denying it to yourself...what happened to self-respect? ghairat? :\

And I dont know why you have it in your head that I have an impending exit waiting to happen, after which you can force your way in like you try to, even now...every once in a while there is an episode.
Pathetic.

Believe me...
If I were to meet you, I would have an answer to ALL your notions and arguments, answers that when she tries to give you in her words time and again, just don't really make you stop....and think about what you're doing. You don't understand her language. Maybe(just maybe) you'd understand mine.
Like that song goes...
"Friends, lovers or nothing. There can only ever be one.
FRIENDS, LOVERS or NOTHING. There can never be an in-between, so give it up."

1:45am, Tuesday night...Apologies to Sir Syed and Iqbal :P

*cuddled up in blankets*...
Eden: You know I dont think people made love in the old days, like 1840s...
Sam: Really? What makes you say that baby?
Eden: I just think so...
Sam: Hmmmm, I think they could...I mean its human nature
Eden: Nahi..you can't imagine sir syed ahmed khan really 'making love' to his wife, can you??
Sam: O_o *baffled* Kyaa?!!
Eden: ..or Mariah Carey?
Sam: WHaatT??! *breaks into laughter* Komal? WTH??
Eden: Han na, that's just so...I, I just dont think the girl would be able to...you know...
Sam: *still laughing*
Eden: wo daarhi itna.....chubti hogi...ERGH!
Sam: *completely cracks up*
Eden: Shutuuup! :P *cracks up too*
*after sharing profuse laughter finally calms down*
Sam: WOW
Eden: Yeah so you see, they probably didnt make love...
Sam: Yeah I guess they didnt then... not with that beard anyways *aftershock laugh* :P
Eden: *snickers* yeah, God, Ergh...
Sam: That's why I'm never keeping a mustache or a beard...
Eden: Haan..
Sam: taake chubne ki kisi ko fikr na karni pare na... :P
Eden: Ji han! *laughs away* awesome ;)
Sam: But mariah carey...?? sir syed...?!! WTF?!
Eden: What...? im just sayin :P
Sam: Seriously?? :D
Eden: Yeah Iqbal was really fat too...
Sam: Huh??! HAHAHAHAH!!
Eden: Im seriouusss... *giggles* wo ITNE mote the pata hai? :P
Sam: Omg! And did you know that he had many wives in his life...?? Not simultaneous though
Eden: Really?? Wow....*pause*...maybe Mariah Carey would be calling Iqbal while she is underneath sir syed... :P
Sam: *barely constrained chuckle* making an appointment for tuesday..? *laughs his head off*
Eden: *cracks up again*

Oh God, the stuff we talk about sometimes... HAHA!! :D
Love you, Babydoll :)

Uno Cuatro Tres <3

Jump then Fall

There are times when you say I'm just typical: my affections are pretentious. Not meant, not met up to, that they let you down, claims unmet, promises unkept...patience lost...
Its nobody's 'fault'.
It's just me being...well, pretty damn ordinary. Which defines my persona through the paradigm of an unbiased unattached perspective. (yes, you're biased too :p)
That's what love does. It happens to everyone. And yes, everyone lives and loves like everyone else and the Earth keeps on spinning. But naturally, as a bf, I feel as though I'm entitled to a couple or so responsibilities. And I take them up, the best I can, and try...atleast try...to be the best I can be. Even if it means failing miserably cuz of predestined or inexorable circumstances.
Just because you fall, are let down, turned off...
doesn't mean you won't be brought back up, turned on...
you think I won't catch you if you fall? cuz of my antics and fuckups?
I mean, I admit that I can't be the dream date, I admit that I say things that are sometimes not met up to. I'm fallible. Very. But that doesn't mean that I wont pretend, that I wont dream, that I wont try...
There ARE times in life when you just don't wanna miss a good chance to shut up.(this is not one of those times) And there are also times when you just don't wanna be caught off-guard by any reason. By any notion put forth by you or any other. But there are times, too, when you just don't wanna think like a realist, strictly practical and measured; but dream like a child. Say without repress, claim without reason, and imagine without restraint. (I mean really, where's the fun without it? just Think :) Life is a bitch enough.) And baby When you shine in my eyes, it's one of these moments...
and at such instances if i lead you to believe what I want you to believe, please do, I'm not saying don't believe me...but...always remember that it was only you whom I ever said anything like that to, whom I ever made such a promise to, and with whom I ever claimed such a thing. And later if those very things fall apart over something else I said...the latter being in a moment of anger/resent/frustration maybe...then please don't forget the former.
Don't be afraid to be let down. I'm terribly human. Prone to mishap. As well as heartbreak. But so are you. In order for two simpletons like us to have each other, forever, we must first indeed recognize the fallibility of ourselves, no?
Revenge, my dear, isn't sweet to me. The conscious breathes but does it really need to choke the other for a moment to really feel better again?
I love you more than songs can ever say.(and they say alot) I care for that heart and those tears more than my own. But only when I do something bad is when I realize I shouldn't have. In the end, one cannot possibly live with too many restraints on thought and expression. You're a staunch believer in that. So am I. But as biased as I am, I may sometimes disregard this for myself. And yes, it just happens. I don't wanna hurt you. And It still happens. I dont wanna be angry but at times it still happens. Obviously, Im not perfect even if i try.
Realizing this, I dont stop trying altogether...
Cuz if I do that, who's gonna be all mushy at the age of grandpa and grandma, hm? Who's gonna lie in the same bed and chat on msn? Who's gonna have same & eden in an aquarium? Who's gonna talk you to sleep? Who's gonna call me stupid and tharki and loser? Who's gonna cook a killer lasagna on my birthday? Who's gonna teach me how to salsa? Who's gonna tell me im boring? Who's gonna visit me in my dreams?
Without you, I dont wanna be. Without you is just outside my brain matter, and i want it to stay there. I want us to last. When times are good, when times are bad. Whatever the magnitude, the foundation of it all is hope of the future. If a such a thing as hope, something abstract, can keep us two together, well I would imagine WE are only as imperfect as it gets. and yes we damn well remember it at all times, or else... :p
I love you. I need you.
And when one of us shows some of the ever-prevalent human tendencies of 'fuckin-up', well... then don't be afraid. <3
To Believe again.
To Say again.
To Smile again.
To Love again. :)



Uno Cuatro Tres <3

Please? :)

Edge of Desire

Young and full of running, tell me where is that taking me
just a great figure eight or a tiny infinity.

Love is really nothing but a dream that keeps waking me.
For all of my trying we still end up dying, how can it be?

Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me
'cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see.

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe.
There, I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me.

So young and full of running all the way to the edge of desire.
Steady my breathing, silently screaming 'I have to have you now.'

Wired and I'm tired, think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor.
Or maybe this mattress will spin on its axis and find me on yours.

Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me
'cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see.

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe.
There, I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me.

Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me
'cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see.

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe.
There, I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me.

Ozzy

Today as I was walking home from college, I had an urge to just sit down, recall... and write... about my best friend...
"Ozzy"...

There have been so many times, in the 3 years of my life that i've known you, which have given me a reason to smile...
Ahh..where to begin dude...seriously :)
That one evening when I was minding my own business and suddenly I get a random text:
"See ya tomorrow" followed by a smiley
Being the macho prick I impulsively wrote
"Who the fuck is this?"
and I swear to this day I remember how the next reply felt and how it made me laugh at myself mockingly:
"I'm the fucker who was with you on the fuckin Visa Interviews last month!"
"Ohh shit! Im so sorry yar, I though it was.."
and so with the following inflow of sorry's, laughs and f-words, began what has been the best and most deeprooted and total-chemistry friendship I've had my life...
:)
I knew there was something about it... immediately after we had attended the PDO at envoy that I had found a cool guy to begin with, "this dude rocks" I thought to my 15year-old self :P hahah! It was indeed more than just that ;)
The following year in the US and how things turned out for all of us and how, despite being out of contact and immersed in the fastpaced highschool-exchange-student life, we held on to each other's freindship was simply remarkable. and enough to make me sit right now... infront of this lcd with perhaps... a lil somethin in my eye...(jk..!)
and reminisce how the days have passed, how we've built upon the things that we had to face, the distance barriers, the understanding, the culture shocks...
the "getting-exactly-what-you-mean-by-that-grin" understanding between us, be it witty, shitty, or extremely perverted hahah! ;p
regardless, just that having a dude who gets you totally and who doesnt show off, doesnt snob and just cracks you up everytime...and just having someone to talk to when the going gets tough...and having them make you laugh when you feel like falling apart..
when you're having your emo moments and someone lifts you up and gives you a "snap-the-fuck-out-of-it" call (one that works)...
Our "Man Dates" that now my gf sorta gets jealous about *grins* :P
and the profuse usage of the f-bomb hahaha! (Oh dare i miss that? :P)
and our "terminologies" for this and that, starting from CTF&FTB and DIV&F...HAHA!
God, Its hilarious to recall, bud! :D How CR came into being (im sure you remember that incident) :D
and ofc matters of real importance to guys...such as beefs, girls, studies etc.
You've been there for all this and more...so much that Its hard to encompass it all over here in this text.
You've been the one who, no matter what, and no matter where and how effin busy, never forgot about me and yes, I never forgot to think about you...even if we were 4 state lines apart... :) and now just an expressway apart :P haha!
And above it all, being lucky enough... to have...a best friend... :)
Its a reason enough to celebrate because it's "you" who's it, man.
Maybe I never really expressed how i felt before, maybe I haven't told you about what our friendship means to me...But today, I take the time to say it...
perhaps, only some of it...
but say it right...
God Bless You Dude, Wish You The Best of Everything for what's to come... *winks* ;)
You're a treasure of a friend. A treasure I dont wanna lose. :)

Imagine Me Imagining You Imagining Us ;)

I envy you for that...
Yes, that dream made me drift away...
It felt so mesmerizing just to imagine...(yep, imaginations rock)
and it made me happy... :)
You said "So if you love someone that means you wonder about them??"
gee, Well..DUH!
:P
and that's my unalienable right, your dreaminess...
yes, the right to use my head...my imagination :D
so yeah...please dont refrain yourself, its your right too...
besides, YOU were the one who dreamt such an awesome dream, not me... :P
So go ahead ;) utilize the rest 42% of it that was kept safe from your "tharki"... :P
HAHA! God *shakes head* :D
Oh and yes, despite it all...I would still wish that the 65% of it comes true like you told me :P warna aur bhi dreams hain jo.. apko pata hi hain ;) but they're a bit too bizarre or a bit too much for.. just yet...if you know what I mean... :P
Uno Cuatro Tres <3

Tata!

Its endearing when you say bye a dozen times and end up talking, not getting off the phone :P
Its cuter when you do it like you're a pissed, a zalimana BYE and then silence...and then after a few seconds again voices return... :p
suddenly I, being the so-termed "brutally" romantic and persistent bf, break the silence again and go:
"Well...?"
"Whaatt?? Tum gae kyun nahi??" *blushing, surprised by the cute awkwardness of it*
"Cuz you didnt cut the call.." *grins*
"What?? Me? Ergh! Jana to tum ne hai"
"Nahi to, mujhe to koi jaldi nahi hai"
"Acha to jao na...jao BYE!"
"acha acha jata hun jata hun..." *giggles*
"Jao..BYEE!!"
"Aisa bye?"
"Han...Ap jaen..abhi!!" *80% teased*
"Abhi?"
"YES Abhi!"
"Isi waqt?"
"ERGH! Han na! Jao bhi...Loser!!"
*cracks up*
"Erghh!! Nahi na bhai.. ye kya baat hui...Ye kya bkwas hai?"
"bkwas ye hai ke..I love you"
"Yeah right..I hate you too"
"mmhmmm" *chuckling*
"ab jao bus...tata! BYE! Jao!"
"acha na ja raha hun na, ja raha hun.."
"Jao..tata!"
"tata.."
......*silence for 5 seconds*
*AAA!! Jaooo!*
"OK OK! GOD!!" *cracks up again*
"I hate you!!"
"I love you too!"
"Mein nahi baat kr rahi...kuti! Jao..Go effin shower!!"
"Jaun?"
"HAN! JAEN!!"
"so you want me to go, right?"
"Han stoopid!"
"Then you're supposed to push the red button, love haha mein ne to nahi jana"
"GO.SHOWER.RIGHT.NOW...BYE!"
...... *more silence*
"Well..? you didnt push the red button!"
"OMG! AAA!! Tum jao na, mein kyun karun?"
"Cuz apko hi jaldi mujhe bhejne ki"
"Ergh! Bus enough! BYE! TATA!"
"this tata for real?" *chuckling still*
"YES BYE TATA!"
*finally cuts the call as soon as the word TATA leaves her vocal cords making sure it doesnt happen yet again*

WOW! That was unbelievably cute, baby :P
HAHA!
Uno Cuatro Tres <3

Believe

Down when I bow, down when I lower myself so much that my head touches the ground...from standing tall all the while to Down there for once...In the simplest of moments, I find... resolve...His patronage...
I find forever open arms...
to my surrender of humanly boisterousness...
to my stupidities and to my wrong doings...and to my sins.
I find these arms to be awaiting my apology, always there...
to give me another chance, another hope, and another..and another...to do something with myself that isn't fallible and weak, as it so easily is the case mostly with my race...so imperfect I am, I here myself whisper...
And how Divine you are to let me be...and not put an end to me in the blink of an eye...What is it that you see in me? You created me...and here I am...with all my weaknesses, ignorance and giddiness...as always...thinking of you in my sajda...Hm, atleast I have you...you dont judge me cuz I am a sinner...your doors never seem to close...so ethereal and yet always there for me and my words and pleas and wishes and what not...you're always there for me so...why Cant I?
Its cuz I believe in YOU... cuz you always believe in ME...
I come home to you, Please guide me, Please guide us All...
within this feeling of retreat to Him and His Forgiveness
I find peace, I find ease, I find backup...
I find simplicity.
Like a depository of faith that feels just right and appropriate...that does justice to this brand of humility...where God's own masterpiece in creations, humbly bows down to Him out of reverence and respect...it seems the only place that fits or, rather, is worthy of lowering oneself so much....what unlike all else, connects..
Takes you as close as you can hope to get...the one and only divine passport...
Prayers...

'It Fits!'

As it got closer and closer my heart started to really shift into high gear, I'd been there, holding the thing inside the curl of my fingers and the ambiance was sufficiently dark. The movie played on and as it got deeper into the story, I felt uneasy of the fact that I'd have to do it soon...and do it right! And then in an impulsive moment of confidence I took a deep breath, trying to conquer the impending nervousness that had kept building in me since I had pulled it out of my pocket and into my hand without you noticing, turned to face you...

Yes, you...I swear I can still see it, that look in your eyes, as you so innocently and so gorgeously looked on into the brightness, your eyes...they were like an abyss of beauty, I felt breathless in that vision, enchanted by those eyes that weren't even locked into mine at the moment...they shined and glistened in the dark, like little bright stars in the night sky, the fullness of your glowing visage, the shape of your eyes, the lining of your brows, the alluring kohl to top it off, the intermittently batting and mesmerizing eyelashes, that pretty face nestled in the black undulant hair...that splendor, that shine... :)

I can say that it was this heavenly sight that somehow gave me that last spark, as I went on.. to slowly and discreetly slide it up your finger...and smile triumphantly at what I saw <3
*the moment of truth*..."it fits!" ..I whispered, grinning.
Ecstasy took over me instantly...I had followed my observation to get the right size and was told that it would be seen if the instinctive guess I had made would turn out to be credible or not, making it all the more significant :p
Oh how long I had waited for this moment *sigh* :)
And I cant really say what you must have felt in that one electrifying moment, I saw a hottie, shocked and overjoyed at the same time, no words, just the way that face lit up and that jaw dropped...when you hadn't seen it coming and then suddenly... its on your finger, the stones glistening in the sight of your pretty-pretty fingers entwined with my dark ones...as you looked up at me and the act was sealed with the endearing and lovely exchange of those three lil words ;) from both Sam & Eden...
Priceless... :)
Uno cuatro tres <3

Idiocracy?

Why is it that we look but we donot see...?
If we watch a lil closely, its evident.
When you're in a forced male-female segregation, strictly administered everywhere, to preserve chastity and... help poeple "control" themsleves... and at the same time all your advertisements, tv commercials and cable networks need babes in 'provocative' clothes, big 'arousing' smiles and nice 'shapely' bodies to sell your fuckin products?? i mean what is that...?
Which way are we to turn...? which way is the simpleton guy with no education or money, to go? It's when humanly tendencies override...in other words, shit happens.
It might be possible to take the balanced route in the middle...ofcourse!
but an uneducated person who cannot think open-mindedly is prone to disaster in such an ordeal. Prolonged Segregation leads to other problems, every action has a reaction....why is it that a girl over there in a bikini can strut on a beach and sunbathe without having any fear of getting kidnapped by men, without insecurity? why is it that the same men over here might do just that if they saw a woman in a bikini? Dont they see her on the tv? late night movies? and on the internet and in cheap cinema halls? I mean think about it? Isnt it all a game that has been played on us by our own? free will...Ha!

it's like showing the dog a bone, alluring it, tempting it but then not giving it to the dog...then why are you bothered when the dog hollers and barks? its not fair..
It's like an innocent child who's being shown a different world on the idiotbox and when the child steps into real life its contradictory...we're breeding hypocrisy this way, within the confines of our own lifestyle. Contrast might be good. but this..this is just NOT it...

2nd year for 'her gorgeousness' :)

Today you've started a new chapter...*sigh* it means alot to me :)
There's just something about you being in 2nd year now, my senior grade hottie ;)
I know you must be thinking "You and your wierd turnons" haha :p
but ive always wanted this, like...2nd year was always a longawaited-milestone. Not that its a piece of cake, its just that..the significance that lies within the grade...12, senior at college :P and then to have a hot gf in the mix? its the touch that i cant quite describe *grins* ;) I mean who was I? I didnt fathom this to be reality when the time came...but well, i just sit and smile now..thinking :P its just awesome ;)
i may be sounding boyish..but when things happen the way you've always wanted them, even in the back of your mind, not being the highlight on the course till that point in time, they just.. feel good, ya know .. and i feel good ;) *wink wink* <3 I tried explaining to you lastnight...maybe it makes sense, maybe it doesnt.. either way, the point is...you're now a second year hottie :p and you've excelled all through, made me and others proud in more than one way and you still continue to...I love you more and more with time, its the best feeling, you're the best thing that has ever happened to the scarecrow...you're the only one, you're all i have, you're what i cant imagine being without, you're what keeps getting better <3 Today a new life begins...you'll walk in those hallways like a senior year sweetheart ;) haha these words are coming out haphazardly, i know. Its just... a moment, a feeling that i'd like to store and record in words. and so i did... Even if they lack concrete and distinct meaning, they will always hold the meaning within...and make me smile and remember what i felt :) be it a trifling notion. Its like you've grown, evolved, gone up a level... just like that, babydoll :)
Uno cuatro tres <3

"Banda Budha ho, Dil jawan hona chahiye"

So I was thinking... :P
We dont usually see romance alive in the grownups these days...
the exultant, cheesy and young romance. It tends to die out for most people but it basically is a matter of 'want'...
What about my want?
Well.. :P
I can so see us many many years from now sitting together in some lakeside bench or a movie theater or a car on a long rainy drive and be all cheesy and romantic...
I'd be tryin to sing songs with what teeth i have left in my mouth and still be reaching for your hand with my own shaky one... :P and be driving or just sitting with an arm around you, fondling with your hair with still the same passion that i once did when i was a boy and you were a pretty & shy cutie :)
I would say things that would make you scoff and "Uhh.." and shift in your seat with that endearing blush on your old wrinkled face...and with that blush i would feel like a young man all over again, full of love and passion :P God hahah!
I wouldnt care if people looked and their jaws dropped...or even if they would talk shit about 'that cheesy buddha'
seriously :P
That'd be fuckin awesome!
And our children and grandchildren would have good laughs about their grandparents' harkaat and go haww hayee :P well you know what, I'd be happy to know that atleast i'm not like all the other old hags who only sit around as far away from their spouses as possible so as to escape watching their face :p haha! There is no cure for old age, but there is a cure for an old heart ;)

and I would still brush your old and thin hair back and tuck it behind your ear and tell you you're still the prettiest lady in the world for me and give you the warmest smile my old, edgy, wrinkled and weak face would be able to give... <3 and entwine fingers... <3 I would still put all that i have in here <3 into it and take your hand like a romeo and kiss your knuckle and hold you close...making old bones feel special and young again... :)
It would even be good for our health and spirit hahahaha! :p
I would still stand in line among couples and hold hands with you to impress the fuck out of even the younger couples :P and you'd be the envy of all the girls with cold bfs...*yeah bitches* :P hahaha!
and I would be alive...in my heart...the scarecrow
:)
As long as you love him, the scarecrow is going nowhere...he wants to be your lover till the end...
Uno Cuatro tres <3

:P

Sam: And Oh Gosh those Pictures!...*sizzles*
Eden: *holds breath* Uhh..*confused how to react*
Sam: God, you sexy babe...
Eden: Uhhm..*sighs, blushing*...*biting lip, struggling to find the words*
Sam: *chuckling, grinning, aware of what's going on* what..? :P
Eden: Uff...tum na..kitne..wo ho..*pause*..Allah kre mera balance khatam ho jae abhi!
Sam: Whaatt??! *cracks up* :D

Oh baby :)
<3

Trilingual ;)

Missing you is the best avocation to pursue,
Thinking of you, surely, is the best thinking I ever do.
To name roses, your lips...to say ecstasy, your view
To have you again, wishes the mind, heart. the soul too.
In the steps, may you excel, they lie ahead of you,
Shine bright in my night skies like the brightest hue.
May our love keep us warm and our sorrows, undo
May it hold us tight in hardships, old or new
I know I'm quite a jerk at times, I'm fixing me to fit you,
But I love you for all your love and all the things that you do.
I'm feeling love grow, the little sapling we set to sow,
Has seen us through, rising, whether it rained or winds blew.
Let me love you more and more, let the bond never be broken,
Let me carry you home one day with your elegance and bloom
Itna pyar hai tmse, kam hai jitna bhi kahun
Eden...Mi Amore, para siempre, eres tu <3

iFail

And so it goes...
the idiot realizes he went against the very thing he stood for and remorse drips from him owing to a turnaround in his state of mind. I might as well be left to wither and fade and still it'd be justified. What came to me was...wierd. stupid. And then later on..when some thoughts come up that lead you home, where you shud've been earlier, the feeling of disgruntle-cum-poststupidity is immensely miserable. :(
I'm sorry...my brain lost composure, it was too big of a thing to think about all at once and I didnt let the whole idea sink in maturely. and i dont know why i was like that. Perhaps it had never occured to me that you were testing the strength of my feelings for once, nevertheless, I was partly blind to the reality around me and failed to live up to my own beliefs in love. All it needed was a push. A mere usher. You're the type of person that is hard to find in these times. From the inside out, you're the most caring, soft, considerate and "good" person I have ever known. And what people say? idgaf. Fuck 'em. You're way WAYY more important, period. seriously, wtf was i thinking before...*sigh* You're just so ...nice...
You're better than many in many ways. better than they'll ever be no matter what they believe or dont beleive in. That, in itself, is the key to a happy life ahead. Its hard to find. And there and then, it dawned on me as i sat alone in the crowded engagement ceremony feeling numb. I saw imperfection, hypocrisy everywhere...and then from therein you rose to something more than that, something closer to perfection in terms of being true and pure. The "good" in you will always tend to come out on top because its just that prevalent. complete with strawberries and whipped cream. Not only like it has with me but with the poeple who'll be around us...the one's that matter, all of em :) i can so see it happening...
And my feelings for you, the foundation of 'us' existing.. was not based on this aspect in the first place...so i... yeah, wtf was i sayin....*sigh* fail :\
After some serious considerations, I had a big realization and made a big decision. I Thank you for giving me the time... to think...to use my fuckin head... and not just letting go of me when I had bluntly let you down and hurt your feelings and expectations so stupidly and all too suddenly....

Its not just because I love you for what you are from the inside out...but because i WANT it. i WANT you and i WANT to love you for that pretty and tempting, endearing, lovely and ever-evolving image of yours in here <3
Besides you're not gona turn any less hotter ;) haha sorry just had to ;p

"I've got an angel...she doesnt wear any wings"



Uno Cuatro Tres
<3

10...

"Rain rain Pours away
This day this night, 10 today
Dark as night, this forest outside
sways and rustles, flashing bright
I discern and stare, lots to contemplate
On the floor, by the window in a stirred state
Your words they come through astound and entice
That touch of yours made the scarecrow nice
Its him sailing somewhere deep in your eyes
Lost in thought, for a moment he sighs
This love, this feeling, this attachment, this rain
Abysmal, unlike the distance by terrain
There's light in hope, there's love in store
There's strength in weakness, a future to fight for..."

:)


where i sat thinking that night...

A Habit

Yeah...its a habit
I make my way out of the shower, it starts nagging me, the urge :p
*queitly walks across to the bed where the phone is on the pillow*
*picks it up, drops a txt*
...message sent
*happy contented smile*
:P
haha! its just something special ya know...
I dont know if you perceive it that way or not but um..you're just that important...yeah *snickers* :D
and the air is chilly, since drops of water still linger on me, following the same downward trickle...
but that's ok, the person i txt is hot enough... ;p
I dont have the Brad Pitt, David Beckham or Bradley Cooper-ish look in a towel...
no *chuckles* not even the slightest resemblance :D but hey.. atleast im.. fuckin exclusive and shit ya know..."reserved" ;) and not public :P
and i take the time, no..i look forward to the time, when i get to do this lil habit of a habit :p
not that insignificant...or maybe it is...
Either way, the towel is always where its supposed to be and so are the thoughts...
*winks*
;)

Lost...

I feel so lost without you
the minutes, like hours, without you
my eyes blink late without you
these shorts feel cold without you
the silence feels numb without you
the world turns gray without you
his world doesn't lighten up, it fades
when the scarecrow roams without you

The Moment...

The look of your closed eyes
your eyelashes embellishing the lining of those precious diamonds
kajal adorning grace that melts this heart of mine
and when my eyes catch the glimpse, eyebrows surrounding...
its as though time stops for a bit, i crave to have you lean on me like that for ever in this moment
and the warmth of your body against mine, is better than any snuggly coat in the snow or any warm quilt on a chilly winter night...
its softer than any pillow or any fur known to man, smoother than the texture of honey or whipped cream ;)
the desire is deep, you make my head spin round...you give me surplus heartbeats whenever you blush...or when you say those three lil words in your own ways...and all this doesnt run out... for you see, that thing you do with your lips...yes, that smile :) its the perpetual source
brings it back, brings more, so let it take over...
there's this 'complete' feeling that lies in your presence...incomplete without you, is the scarecrow...
lets be complete...
Uno Cuatro Tres <3

"It's All for the sake of arriving with you"

Well I can’t give you everything you want
But I could give you what you thought you need
A map to keep beneath your seat
You’ll read to me in time I’ll get you there
But fold it up so we don’t find
Our way back soon nobody knows we’re here

We can park the van and walk to town
Find the cheapest bottle of wine that we could find
And talk about the road behind
How getting lost is not a waste of time
Le Bois d’amour(the woods of love) will take us home
In the moment we will sing as the forest sleeps

It’s all for the sake of arriving with you...

Well I will make the table into a bed
The candle is burning down it’s time to rest
I can’t take back things already gone
But I could give you promises for keeps
And I would only take them back
If they become your own and you give them to me

And it’s all for the sake of arriving with you
Well it’s all for the sake of arriving with you

We could make this into anything
We could make this into more than words we speak
This could make us into anything
It could make us grow and become what we’ll be

How will we really know?
It’s just like it feels
It's just like it feels...


Lets never forget how the intertwining of your fingers with mine tells the truth about the road ahead being, if not short, but worth the ride...and the destination... :)
"It's all... for the sake of arriving with you"

Hawaii, Paris, Bikinis

I: If I can ever take you on a vacation somewhere abroad, we'll go to Paris...
Eden: No, we'll go to Hawaii baby
I: Hawaii? But I thought -
Eden: Because you like Hawaii na..and I wanna go there too
I: But there's the Eiffel tower you know, the sexiest building according to you
Eden: Well, I -
I: And we can kiss underneath it, like that movie...
Eden: *chuckles*
I: what do you think?
Eden: well, Hawaii..because i wanna go there...and you know i love beaches, right?
I: yeah..
Eden: So there...
I: Ok, Hawaii it is
Eden: Theek hai
I: But If we're going to Hawaii you're gonna have to wear a bikini...
Eden: What..?!
I: *grins*
Eden: Ok..we're going to Paris!
I: *cracks up*
Eden: Jee han..*blushing*

HAHA :p

When I saw you...

"Falling short, describing the moment...
the moment you walked up the steps...
From where you'll always be eminent...
in between dreams and deep breaths...
From where the movie starts in my head...
beauty, lavishly elegant, approaching in a black dress..."

You're more than words can express...despite my ever-lasting and seemingly persistent mushiness, to this day, honestly, i have never felt even once...close to completely and entirely encompassing your "pretty"... :) delicate, luxuriant, lovely...i fail to suffice in words for it...
i fail to do so, but then again, i do believe...that any man would... *kisses your knuckle*

When I met your glance, it dawned on me...it had been worth the wait...well worth everything i had done...

And from then on it was all...a dream...sometimes i think i still haven't woken up...
Maybe i don't want to...until i see you again.
Uno Cuatro Tres...